This is definitely going to end badly…

I’m so confused…

Was this supposed to be a parody or some really meta movie? If so, I didn’t get it…and neither did the couple coming out of the theatre behind me LOL. Sidebar: I don’t read reviews before going to see a film, or before writing my own just fyi. I should’ve known this was gonna go this way because my entire viewing experience start out on the wrong foot SMH.

As an AMC Stubs A-List Member, I often do weekend doubleheaders at the movie theatre (up this weekend was this film and Late Night). I was a few minutes late (Nordstrom Rack was having a sale and the lines were dumb long LOL) but I still made it in before the feature started…and it was reserved seating so no worries, right?!

WRONG!!! I get to my seat and there is a guy already there laid out (it the reclining seats) with his shoes off straight chillin’. I look at him and he says “oh, sorry are you D5?” And I think to myself, “you’re not even sitting in D5, why would you ask that…and there’s clearly someone already in D5.” (I was D3 by the way). He then fakes like he’s going to move but I knew he didn’t want to…he was laid out like he had just rolled out of bed onto the couch to “Netflix and chill” LOL. So I said “don’t worry about it, I’ll just sit right here” referring to D2 which I’m sure annoyed the guy in D1 LOL and I didn’t particularly relish being squeezed in between the two either. But it gets even better with ol’ buddy…not even 10 minutes into the movie and he’s snoring…loud as hell like he’s been in REM sleep for hours. And he had the nerve to occasionally, randomly wake up and chuckle like he had been watching the whole time FML.

That in and off itself should’ve been an indication of how much I was going to enjoy this film. I didn’t get it at all…was it a full-blown parody or just a thrown together movie…I couldn’t quite tell. If it’s going to be a comedy-horror, I need it to go all the way like Zombieland or something. This one started real slow and the acting was staid (I’m sure that was intentional because it was a great cast…Adam Driver, Chloe Sevigny, Bill Murry, Steve Buscemi, Danny Glover, Caleb Landry Jones, RZA, Tilda Swinton, Carol Kane, Iggy Pop and Selena Gomez amongst others). Chloe really irked me (I’m sure that was an intentional stereotype she was playing as well). Tilda was cooky, good, per usual…but overall, I wasn’t a fan.

**If you saw this one, let me know what you thought of it in the comments below!